The Youth Ministry & Spirituality Project
Documents

Recommended Reading for Accompanying Young People

Good books to deepen your relationships with young people.

This is an annotated bibliography from our third inservice that focused on contemplative presence to young people.

Tribe Apart: A Journey into the Heart of American Adolescence, by Patricia Hersch. Hersch offers readers a fly-on-the-wall perspective as she spends three years hanging out with eight youths, submerging herself in their environment. Hersch asserts that the majority of teens in America today have much, much more piled on their plates than previous generations. Having been left to their own devices by a preoccupied, self-involved, and "hands-off" generation of parents, adolescents have had to figure out their own system of ethics, morals, and values, and rely on each other for advice on such profound topics as abuse, dysfunctional parents, and sex (with all its accompanying ramifications). Adolescents are indeed "a tribe apart," but not by choice—adult society abandons them long before they ever get the chance to rebel against it.

Becoming Human, by Jean Vanier. This is a beautiful summary of Jean Vanier's social philosophy of love, presence and communion. Vanier, the founder of the international Federation of L'Arche Communities for persons with disabilities, presents a vision for the healing of society through care and relationships of accompanying the poor. He believes that if each of us maintained a link to at least one person who is marginalized in some way (such as young people or elderly persons) our society would be transformed. For a more theological and poetic approach see his volume, The Broken Body (below).

The Broken Body, by Jean Vanier. This is a poetic, theological reflection on the meaning of suffering and wholeness from Jean Vanier. His work in communities with persons with disabilities has given him extraordinary perception into the life of the human heart and its healing through relationships of love in community. Our project's language around accompaniment is inspired, in part, by Vanier and L'Arche's understanding of this process.

Centering Prayer: Recovering and Ancient Christian Prayer Form, by M. Basil Pennington. This is one of the clearest introductions to centering prayer available by one of the first teachers of the practice since it was recovered from ancient monasticism for the contemporary era.

The Contemplative Pastor: Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction, by Eugene Peterson. This veteran minister helps translate some of the principles and sensibilities of the Project to congregational work. He relies on spiritual direction as the primary metaphor for pastoring. Although directed to pastors, I found this book helpful in transforming my own image of the youth pastor.

Crossroads: The Quest for Contemporary Rites of Passage, by Louise Carus Mahdi, Nancy Geyer Christopher, & Michael Meade ed. A comprehensive collection of fifty articles on diverse aspects of the transition to adulthood, covering experiences with contemporary rites of passage, accounts of traditional rites of passage, and how-to guidelines for creating new rites of passage. This is from a non-Christian perspective, but may inspire lots of ideas.

The Godbearing Life, by Kenda Creasy Dean and Ron Foster. This book is one of the first attempts to integrate the conversations and disciplines within the field of Christian Spirituality into the practice of youth ministry. Personal, thoughtful and theologically grounded chapters about how to do youth ministry without losing your soul.

The Healing Wisdom of Africa, by Malidoma Some'. Some' is from Burkina Faso, West Africa. He is one of the leading voices in the call for more rituals, relationships and rites of passage within Western communities. Some' gives an understanding of the life of indigenous and traditional people that inspires new practices in bridging the chasm of modern isolation. Some very good stuff on the need for rituals, elders and rites of passage from a community of people for whom these elements are a reality.

How to Talk So Kids Can Learn: At Home and in School, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Get this book. This one is based on a classic (see below) and a must have for anyone working with kids. Using down to earth examples of dialogue and teaching situations, the book will develop your awareness of how we speak to kids in ways that can block relationships and learning. Excellent book for deepening your accompaniment skills.

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Get this book too. One of the best practical books on accompanying youth, children and anyone else that happens to be in the room. This book is a classic and one of my top three books for parents. You will discover new skills in speaking and communicating with kids that will deepen your relationship with them and free them to be themselves. Excellent cartoons and exercises will help you develop better listening and responding skills to even the most difficult situations with young people.

Journey Inward, Journey Outward, byElizabeth O'Connor. This is a remarkable reflection on the life of the Church of the Savior in Washington, D.C. by one of its founding members. O'Connor articulates the dynamic of balancing the inner journey in prayer and spiritual discipline with the journey outward in service and ministry. It's hard to put this into words but she does the job better than most and then talks about the various forms that this dynamic has taken in the church. We used her chapter on the "Covenant Community" to illustrate how this ministry can take shape when there is a committed group of believers who begin in prayer, discernment, and community together.

Journey Through Heartsongs, by Mattie J.T. Stepanek. Twelve-year old Mattie is an "old-soul," a true contemplative whose hope, wonder and activism is grounded in deep experiences of death and suffering. There is a spiritual depth and simplicity that speaks to the isolation and hunger within Christian congregations. This book of poems is part of a series--many of these poems were written when Mattie was between the ages of three and eight.

The Powers that Be: Theology for a New Millenium, by Walter Wink. This is a good and readable summary of much of Wink's work. This book helps create a new awareness about the spiritual (or "invisible") dimension of the systems and structures within which we work and live. Relying on Biblical images, Wink helps describe the spiritual and destructive nature of institution or what he calls "the powers. " Just Wink's statement: "The Powers are good. The Powers are fallen. The Powers must be redeemed," seems to make the work within churches and organizations more understandable and hopeful.

Right of Passage, by Nancy Geyer Christopher. Good basic descriptions of the need for rites of passage for youth in North America. Christopher reports people's experience of Christian rites of passage as well as experiences in service-learning organizations. This book is rich with ideas and images for congregations seeking to incorporate rites of passage.

The Second Family: How Adolescent Power is Challenging the American Family, by Ron Taffel with Melinda Blau. Family psychologist presents some powerful images of the disconnection between youth and parents/adults. He shows that kids aren't rebelling against parents...they don't have enough of a relationship with parents to rebel!The result is that a mix of media and friends have become the new family for teens. Taffel also points to some ways of accompanying and re-building relationships with youth in the midst of a market culture that seeks to become surrogate family. His group process for parents has similarities with the project. Taffel is not a Christian and the language and images he gets from young people can be offensive. Dianne Williams and JoAnne Allen, two youth ministry volunteers from Westminster Presbyterian are doing a class on this book with parents--over 20 parents signed up and it's powerful.

The Silent Cry: Mysticism and Resistance, Dorothy Soelle. A long-time activist and theologian "comes out" as a mystic. She reveals the deep connection between prayer and social action. She claims that "mysticism is resistance" and reveals how Christian mystics have always been social activists. She sheds light on some of the new ways we are called to prayer and action in the post-modern world.

The War Against Parents, by Sylvia Ann Hewlett & Cornel West. This book was a revelation. Hewlett and West will help you see why it's not just a personal issue that people have no time for kids. In very personal and readable language the book examines the systemic, cultural and structural difficulties facing children and parents in North America. The authors present the obstacles presented by the workplace, popular culture and government as parents seek to be available to their kids. The book concludes with a plan of action--a Parent's Bill of Rights.

Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity, by Eugene Peterson. This is the second of three books on the work of pastors after the Contemplative Pastor. This is an antidote to the powerful pressures that reduce pastoral vocation to a managerial religious job. Peterson defines the distinctive work of the pastor as listening and helping others to listen to God through Scripture, prayer, and neighbor.

Youth in the Community of Disciples, David Ng. This little book is out of print but you can sometimes find it in church libraries (look for the companion training book as well). Ng taught Christian education at SFTS. His book is based on Bonhoeffer's Life Together and is a good description of youth ministry from a covenant community rather than the isolated "lone ranger." Some of the examples are outdated but this is a theologically sound and inspiring book.